When I could sit in the UW Milwaukee library, and not need facebook to be distracted. Drawing from a fond and distant memory, this is vaguely how it went:

1. Hey, you look shockingly homeless.. what are you doing reading Chaucer? (thanking god for the metal detectors as you walk in.. at least he’s not dangerous.) On second thought, I think those were to keep people from stealing books. Nevermind, you might be dangerous.

2. Dreadlocks, hey dreadlocks - I’m checkin you out.

3. The view into the courtyard. Both seasons this view was of endless entertainment, no.. you should not wear heels to class when it’s January and yes.. i do think it’s fucking hilarious that you just fell over. And, in the midwest when the snow finally melts, boy does someone flip our crazy switch. I’m fine with you sunbathing without your shirt on, even if it’s only 60. I’m also fine with mouthing dirty comments about you to my friends about how little clothes you’re wearing, when it’s only sixty.

4. The old people at the computer section, the ones who utilize only their pointer fingers. I love your beret, and the way you squint. Computers - lets be honest - were made for 20/20 vision.

Now, my current situation. You damn collegiate ass holes. I don’t like using the interweb to procrastinate writing a film analysis. I AM A PEOPLE WATCHER. Would you like to know what the *basement* library at the University of Minnesota gives me to watch?

1. ASIANS.